A drama starring Nicole Kidman as Margot, Jennifer Jason Leigh as Pauline, and Jack “Jables” Black as Malcolm. I’m used to watching Jack Black in comedies, so this should be interesting. But before we go any further, let’s get Jables’ hamminess out of the way. Yes, he is a hammy actor and musician. In fact, most people think Jack Black’s real name is Thomas Jacob Black, but it’s actually Jacob Black Forest Schinken. Which is why he sometimes uses the alias Jables Schinken when traveling. And sure, he’s kind of a 420 lightweight, per his freak-out on episode 49 of Doug Benson’s Getting Doug with High. But he got through it without walking out – kudos, bro! Oh, and a quick plug for Doug Benson: a very funny comedian. You have to check out his video podcasts of Getting Doug with High, where he has celebrities on, they get high as the bejesus at 4:20 pm, and then discuss topics such as high history, pot topics, pot quiz and other musings. Very entertaining. Man, if Doug ever had me on his show, he’d shit himself!
Jiminy, I’m off track again, wasn’t I yammering about Jack Black? Now don’t get me wrong, I am a YUUGE fan of Jables’ movies and music. Just look at some of his movies: School of Rock, Tropic Thunder, Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, Shallow Hal, The Polka King, and of course, Nacho Libre. Quite a resume. And then his music, featuring the GREAT Tenacious D with Kyle “Kage” Gass. Who can forget their classics such as Car Chase City, Beelzeboss, Kickapoo, and of course They Fucked Our Asses? And what about their video skit Butt Baby? Haven’t we all had the experience of tripping out on acid in the desert in our underwear? Then hallucinating a root man, a flying crab head and then watching your friend turn into a giant purple baby? And then, amusingly, realize you didn’t take LSD after all? But then your friend delivers a baby out of his ass? Or did he?? Good times, eh?
Anywho, where in the blue blazes was I going with this? Is this a treatise on the life, times, and career of Jables?? No – it’s supposed to be a movie review on Margot at the Wedding. Get it together, ck, you silly ass!
So back to this cockamamie movie, it’s the story of Margot going to her sister Pauline’s place to attend her marriage to boyfriend Malcolm. Margot did not approve of Pauline’s choice in Malcolm, even more so when she discovered she was pregnant. Now I’ve never been a big fan of Nicole Kidman – she’s pretty good, definitely upper half of my pyramid, but that’s about it. I always like to catch her falling into her native Australian accent in movies. Early in this one, she says: “white wine” and the “white” is clearly an Australian whyit. Later, she does the same with the word “right”, and then again with “baby” (bayabee). Stick to the American accent, Nickie.
So, there were some confusing aspects to this movie at the beginning. We weren’t even sure Margot and Pauline were sisters until they talked about Mom. And Margot’s 11 year old kid – we did not know if it was a boy or girl until after some time. Turned out Claude was a boy – all righty then. We also briefly met Margot’s estranged husband Jim, played by John Turturro. At one point, Margot called Jim “despicable”. Speaking of despicable, don’t ever watch Turturro’s movie The Jesus Rolls – it blows! Another strange aspect of this movie was the character Dick, played by Ciaran “Caesar” Hinds. He was having a romantic and business relationship with Margot, but we do not see who he was until later in the movie.
Not to pile on to my beloved Jables, but did they have to include the nude scene? What’s the dealio with his gut? It looked almost fake, like he was wearing a pregnant woman stomach prosthetic – what in the hail? And in a later scene, was Jables laughing or crying? Jiminy Christmas, I couldn’t decide if he was smoked, boiled, spiced or cured ham in this one!
To add insult to injury, they ended this movie with the horribly cliché “I’ve changed my mind and will run to catch a bus as it drives away” scene. Good Lord – this movie had a turrible ending.
Sadly, this movie gets three Jables’ devil horns out of twelve.