Vivarium – 2019

Movie reviews for the masses

Jesse Eisenberg played the character Tom in sci-fi/horror – oh goody! But wait a minute, I got too high for this one (one toke over the line, as they say. Or in this case, maybe two or three). Right off the bat, I started to freak out with the sound effects. Imogen Poots (costar, who played Gemma) was teaching a class of young kids and then they all started making this horrific screeching sound – I almost ran out of the room! It happened again when Tom and Gemma were singing in the car – it was very disturbing. But fortunately, after fleeting thoughts of abandoning this flick, I floated down from the clouds a bit, managed to pull my shit together and watched the rest of the movie. But Jiminy Christmas, did I get high as the bejesus! The third main character was Nazi-looking real estate salesman Martin (played by Jonathan Aris) – very bizarre. And who came up with the idea  of making buying a house a fucking nightmare, because, guess what, buying/selling a house really is a fucking nightmare. Brilliant!

It was clear that Martin was going to ditch the couple in this bizarre neighborhood of identical houses. A computer generated sky and landscaping added to the creepy ambience of an alternate reality. But parts of this movie didn’t make sense. Like when the baby grew one year for every ten days, you’d think they’d take the hint that thing wasn’t human. And the way he dressed and acted as he got older, I quickly realized he was going to grow up to be another Martin. Even his endless screaming for attention or food didn’t get them to the point of bashing this thing’s head in and chucking him in the giant hole Tom was digging. You wonder how or if they will get out of this hell, but when Tom died and got tossed in the hole by a rapidly maturing Martin, I knew a bitter end was coming. And oh was it bitter. And it’s unfortunate, because this concept had so much potential.

Worth watching but keep track of your weed consumption prior to watching this one, lest you freak out and start crying for mommy to make it stop. Four lawnmower men out of seven.

Let me have it!