Hey a Gary Sinise movie – I like him – he doesn’t do a lot of movies (unlike many other actors… ahem Liam “BNBE” Neeson). This one was based on a short story written by some dick named Philip Dick – in 1953. So basically it’s a story about future earth (the year 2079) after attack by a hostile civilization from Alpha Centauri. Now as we all know, Alpha Centauri is a star, not a planet – so right off the bat, I had issues, my friends. To make matters worse, it was a dystopian view of a future world. Don’t you hate the word dystopian? I do – it’s hackneyed and uber-lame.
Gary Sinise starred as Spencer Olham, who worked in development of new weapons to fight the war against the aliens (which, by the way, were never shown – more lameness). His wife Maya Olham was a doctor, played by Madeleine Stowe. What ever happened to her – she was such a great actor back in the day. Don’t see her much anymore (unlike many other actors… ahem Liam “BNBE” Neeson). Vincent D’Onofrio (skinny and with hair!) played the antagonist, Major Hathaway, who believed Spencer was an unknowing replicant (think totally organic terminator) equipped with a ridiculous heart bomb that could explode like a nuclear weapon.
There were several other minor details of this movie that in combination irritated me, such as Spencer using an SLR camera in 2060 – seriously? And then a flip phone in 2079 – what in the hail?? How about an implanted tracking device the size of an adult thumb with two big wires sticking out? What was this, Get Smart technology? And then probably the worst of them all – they had DNA scanners to secure access to doors – and there just happened to be trash cans outside each door with freshly discarded rubber gloves that could be used to authorize entry into said “secure” doors. Jiminy FUCKING Christmas!
On the plus side, the always great Clarence “Link” Williams III played the secretary of defense. He never plays an uninteresting character.
The special effects were especially cheesy, and the dark sets were too similar to the Terminator movies. Silly military uniforms sporting Devo hats continued the preposterous theme.
Anywho, the plot plodded along with Hathaway in pursuit of Spencer after he escaped a fatal surgical procedure to remove the “heart bomb” – yes it got more laughable every time it came up. Whomever came up with that idea deserves a swift kick in the ass.
Sadly, and I hate to pile on, but Sinise’s performance was surprisingly hammy – exemplified by the ludicrous scene where Hathaway captured him via a nonsensical hand buzzer zapping device used in a handshake. What was this, Get Smart technology? How did Hathaway escape also being zapped into submission? And why did the ridiculous scanner used to confirm a “heart bomb” in Spencer while he laid on a table with arms far apart, displayed his body with his hands conveniently crossed over his naughty parts? Come on, man!
The only saving grace in this shit show was a decent twist at the end, but even that was marred by the grand finale “heart bomb” explosion.
4 Bubba Gump shrimp out of 12